Girls Who Can’t Trust their Friends

“Never talk to strangers”. It is a timeless piece of advice that parents have been telling their children for generations. The implied threat is hardly ever explained, but as adults we know sexual crimes top the list. Although the stranger danger adage has been repeated over and over, it is only partially true. It may shock you to find that 8 out of 10 rape victims know their attacker.

Becoming a victim to someone you know can carry even more anguish than being randomly attacked. The feelings of responsibility or betrayal of trust get layered on top of the utter violation. Even worse, there is often less support offered from peers, who may not come to your defense out of loyalty to the attacker.

Date and party rape are infrequently reported. Actually, that’s a big understatement- about 90% of the time nothing is said about date rape. It’s just brushed off as drunken antics at a party or a misunderstanding. This situation occurs thousands of times every year, on every campus across the country.

So now that this stage has been set and you’re getting ready to send your child off to school, what are you going to say and how can you lay out the facts in such a way as to not totally ruin the experience of heading off to school? When it comes right down to it…

These are the six things you need to make sure that your kids understand

When alcohol gets involved, situations can easily get out of hand. Much too often, the blame is switched from the attacker to the victim. Even when the rape is reported, this can lead to the offender not getting punished. Your only sure hope for justice is prevention.

If you’re out with a guy and the little voice in your head tells you that something isn’t right, remember that no means no. Tell the person very clearly to stop and leave immediately. It doesn’t matter if you’re wrong and you create some hurt feelings. If you’ve misread the situation nothing will go as wrong as if you’ve read it right.

It is very easy to be charmed by a “knight in shining armor”. It is very important that you evaluate new relationships. If something feels wrong, walk away. It can be very easy to get stuck in a potentially abusive relationship. Dont’ be rushed.

If you go out partying with your friends it’s important that you never ditch the one who’s had too much to drink. Even if they get loud and embarrasing and obnoxious – it really can happen to anyone and you can’t cut the weakling out of the herd quite so callously.

If you’re probably going to be drinking make a like a wildebeest and stay with the herd. There is some safety in numbers.

There are all kinds of people on college campuses. Although the majority may seem trustworthy, realize that these are not the friends that you grew up with. Your trust is to be earned, not given away lightly. Don’t let yourself be a victim.

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