The Sad Myth of Stranger Danger
Everywhere you turn around women are still warned about “Stranger Danger” and for generations, parents have been telling their children not to talk to strangers. It’s a valuable piece of advice, although it doesn’t paint a complete picture. It may surprise you to find that 80% of sexual assault victims know their attackers.
Thousands of young women head off to college campuses every year, completely unprepared for the most common source of danger – acquaintances and dates. Being assaulted by someone you know and think you can trust carries a whole new set of baggage. Feelings of betrayal, a sense of responsibility, and perception of guilt. You may receive less support from friends and peers, as their loyalties are torn between the two sides.
Rape at college is often brushed off. It is treated as a mistake, just another drunken party antic, bad communication or maybe even the inevitable conclusion to “wild girls” who can’t hold their liquor. I head this and marvel that after all these years so little has changed. These rapes are almost never reported, and this can lead to deeply held emotional scars that can last for years.
It’s not a pleasant situation and it isn’t going away. Some kids – both boys and girls alike are simply not as worldly as their soon to be peers and it’s easy for them to become victims. Everyone is going to do something stupid in their lives- probably a few times- but how can you protect your kids?
These are the six things you need to make sure that your kids understand
The only sure way to prevent a miscarriage of justice is to prevent the crime. When alcohol and young people mix, situations can easily get out of hand. Your judgement goes downhill and so does your perception and then before you see anything coming- you have a mess on your hands.
If a date is making you feel uncomfortable, let them know immediately. Do not let the situation escalate. When your safety is on the line, there is no need to worry about being embarrassed or sparing another persons feelings. Make your feelings clear, and then immediately leave.
Many women who have become involved with abusive partners were are first almost literally swept off their feet. The guys were charming and attentive, but on closer examination they were also jealous, protective and controlling. If you feel that a new relationship is moving too fast – then it is.
If you go out partying with your friends it’s important that you never ditch the one who’s had too much to drink. Even if they get loud and embarrasing and obnoxious – it really can happen to anyone and you can’t cut the weakling out of the herd quite so callously.
Never go to parties or drinking alone. Always go with a friend you can trust not to leave you alone if you get too intoxicated.
There are all kinds of people on college campuses. Although the majority may seem trustworthy, realize that these are not the friends that you grew up with. Your trust is to be earned, not given away lightly. Don’t let yourself be a victim.
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