Becoming a Parent of a Teen

So you successfully got them through the beginning stages and you and they both survived it. Now you no longer have to worry about diapers, potty training, choking on a hot dog or getting head lice. They have now made it over those hurdles and you have all survived. It is time to celebrate.

Not. You are getting a whole night’s sleep, and you are going to need it, believe me. You thought the hard part was over, but this is only the beginning. And I have some helpful basics to get you through the beginnings.

Defiance is something that they use to test the waters and learn the ropes, so expect it and don’t take it personally, it is a normal part of the process and will wear off in a few years. Stay calm. This is the best way to deal with a teen especially when they are upset. Talk slowly and use active listening to keep them on track.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions and get answers, the don’t ask don’t tell policy doesn’t work real well. Ignoring things or avoiding subjects that are uncomfortable for you is not a good way to parent. You need to deal with the issues head on and the more you know the better equipped you will be to handle your child and the problems that may come up.

Remember, most importantly, you are not their friend. If your teen didn’t need someone to care for them and guide them, you could be a friend. But, they need guidance and your support, even when no isn’t the answer they want to hear. Be brave and firm, keeping your cool, even when they try to guilt you.

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