Get Your Ex Back - 10 Break Up Blunders To Avoid

April 16, 2008 – 12:44 am
by Claire Tourney

You may have all the good intentions in the world of wanting to stop your break up and win your ex-lover back, but you could be actually be blundering along instead, making things even worse instead of increasing your chances of winning your lost love back.

Are you guilty of committing any of these ten break up blunders?

1. Telling your ex that they are making a huge mistake. This won’t convince your ex to change their mind, they will only be more relieved that they decided to break up with you in the first place.

2. Calling too soon after the break up. Your ex has broken up with you and this should make it clear that they need some space right now and the last thing they want is to hear from you.

3. Drunk Dialing. You may be drowning your sorrows and the alcohol is intensifying your emotional state so you keep calling and trying to get your ex to talk to you…. See #2

5. Leaving a lot of voice mail and email messages…. Again - see #2

5. Telling your ex and everyone who will listen how sad, lonely and depressed you have been since the breakup. If you are hoping to win the sympathy of your ex you need to understand that this is just being manipulative, and no matter how unintentional it may be you are still overwhelming them with your emotions and neediness, a real relationship killer.

6. Continuing to argue about the break up and bringing up past disagreements and squabbles. If you do get your ex’s attention and get them talking to you this is not the best use of any contact time. You are being immature and petty and this isn’t going to get you back with your ex, instead it will keep you constantly cycling through the past history of your relationship.

7. Professing your undying love over and over. Even if you don’t think your ex completely gets how much you really and truly love them, obviously that is not the issue right now or they wouldn’t have wanted to break up. You need to take a different perspective and sort through what went wrong with the relationship and what needs to change instead of thinking that true love is the answer to everything.

8. Apologizing over and over again. Now if you did something wrong, really blew it by cheating or breaking a big promise you know you need to apologize. But if you don’t know the right way to make an apology, (and hardly anyone does) you won’t be able to repair the rift in the relationship. You also have to know when to apologize instead of apologizing too soon. And if you really didn’t do anything that needs to be apologized for then you are only demeaning yourself and this will make you even less attractive to your ex.

9. Trying to make your ex jealous. This may work initially because humans tend to be wired to want what they can’t have, and it may even be a tiny part of a smarter strategy to get your ex back. But it’s not a good tactic to depend on for the long term. The reasons for the break up won’t have changed so trying to win your ex back using only manipulative tactics will have you ending up with a more complicated relationship that will be even harder to keep going for the long term.

10. Pleading with them to take you back. I’ll let you in on a little secret here. People like people who like themselves, who are emotionally secure enough not to need someone so desperately that they will sacrifice their self respect to try and get someone’s love back by begging.

Now you know the common blunders to avoid if you are serious about wanting to win back your ex girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband. So start analyzing where the relationship went wrong and what needs to change and then being planning a SMARTER strategy to get your ex back.

About the Author:
Hi I’m Claire Tourney. You need to avoid the Major Mistakes most people make trying to get their ex back. Get SMARTER steps and a successful, PROVEN plan for winning your ex back by visiting my Squidoo lens Get Your Ex Back - The Smart Way!

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