Get Your Ex Back - How To Know If Your Are Pushing Or Pulling

April 3, 2008 – 6:01 am
by Claire Tourney

If you really want to get your ex back it’s important to understand that the emotional pain you are experiencing right now could keep you from some clear thinking. Unless you want to keep blundering along and make it even harder to get your ex back you must take a step back and honestly evaluate how you have handled the break-up situation so far. You may not realize that you may actually be pushing your ex even further away instead of increasing the odds in your favor that you will get your ex back.

People who have lost someone or something that they want desperately to get back frequently allow their emotions to take over and soon desperation sets in. In a break-up situation this results in you exhibiting the push away behaviors that make it much less likely that you will be getting your ex back.

If you continually beg or plead with your ex to get back together with you it will only drive them further away. You might think that if you can only convince them of how much you love and need them, they will finally understand and come rushing back into your waiting arms. You may be surprised to find instead that you could be pushing them into the waiting arms of someone else instead!

It’s time to get your dignity back. Think of a classic movie scene you may have watched where the ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend is making desperate attempts to win their lover back with their needy declarations of undying love, or trying to win their ex back by convincing them of their attempts to change or their willingness to make it up to them for whatever they think they might have done wrong.

Sitting in the theater or on your comfy couch at home watching a movie scene like that will usually cause you to cringe with embarrassment for the poor man or woman that’s on the screen pouring their heart out and humiliating themselves in the process. And you wonder if they are even aware of how much they are actually hindering their chances of getting back together with their ex.

Now can you see yourself in that movie scene that you just thought of? Are you doing any of those soul crushing behaviors that are not only hurting your self esteem by making you feel worse and worse but also continuing to push your ex away too?

You’re sure that if you can just convince your them of your love you will win your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend back, so you are determined to do anything it takes, even move mountains to get them to see how much you love them and need them. Never mind that you are building mountains between you and your ex instead. Or perhaps you think that yours is a true love and true love conquers all - wrong again! True love is the operative word here. Or perhaps we can use the word real love instead.

Real love isn’t clingy or desperate. The fact is that real love is confident enough to allow your ex to have the space they need right now, you must give them time to breath and get their emotional state in balance before you make your next move. And when you make your next move make sure you play it smart and you will make it all the more likely that you will be pulling your ex back to you instead of continuing to push them away instead.

Now don’t despair; even if you have been blundering along it’s never too late! Time to take that step back and give it a break. Use this time instead to pull yourself together and learn a SMARTER WAY to get your ex back!

About the Author:
Hi, I’m Claire Tourney and I empathize with how you are feeling right now. If you are ready to get back your self esteem and get your ex back too, please visit my Squidoo lens Get Your Ex Back - The Smart Way!

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