April 12, 2008 – 3:12 am
by Claire Tourney
If you have experienced a break up and desperately want to get back with your ex girlfriend take just a minute and ask yourself why you feel so terrible without your ex. Do you constantly think thoughts like:
She was my whole life. I’m useless without her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I’ll never find anyone as good as her. I can never be happy without her.
These thoughts aren’t helping you in the least right now and they really aren’t true either. You can absolutely be a happy guy again without her, and if you don’t understand this you’re going to have a harder time whether or not you do succeed in getting your ex girlfriend back.
If you continue to think that you won’t make it without your girlfriend, or that you are afraid of being alone, then you will encounter problems not only in this relationship but in any relationship from now on. The truth is you have to be OK with yourself first. Not only will you be a happy guy but self confidence is one of the things that will make you most attractive to your ex girlfriend and to all women in general.
So if the reasons above are the only ones you have for wanting to get your ex girlfriend back you need to ask yourself whether you really do need her or you need to find yourself instead.
You don’t want a relationship based on neediness, but rather on love. Although many romantic movie cliches portray romantic love as two people who confess how much they need each other, this is a co-dependent type of relationship instead of a healthy, whole relationship that will last and make you both happy.
So if you are feeling more needy than loving right now, that’s OK. Take some time and work on yourself and allow real love for your ex girlfriend to unfold. You can choose to love instead of cling and this will boost your confidence enough to give your ex girlfriend the space she may need right now. And it will give you time to reflect and plan before you make your next move to get your ex girlfriend back.
When you choose to let go of the needy thoughts and feelings and focus instead on the things you love about your ex girlfriend and some of the positive reasons why you want to get back together you will be amazed at how much better you feel about yourself. And this is a much SMARTER way to go about getting your ex girlfriend back!
Tags: Relationships
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There are few events more traumatic than a breakup with the love of your life. You may be wondering if you’ll ever get over the pain of this loss, never mind winning her back. You definitely aren’t alone here because anyone who has a life will inevitably have a breakup with someone they love.
Thing is, this happens all the time, people breakup and people get back together again. If you keep a positive attitude then there’s nothing stopping you from reuniting with your ex and getting your life back together. Here are some tips to keep you motivated and feeling positive.
You have to come to terms with the pain of separation and move on. Wallowing in your pain will lead to self destructive behavior in one form or another. Depression, anger, anxiety, drug abuse and alcoholism are some of the consequences of allowing your pain to control your life.
Don’t be too quick to give up with it wasn’t meant to be. You don’t know what’s possible or impossible until you’ve tried to get her back. Laying around feeling depressed and watching TV all day is a waste of time. Nothing is going to happen unless you change it. So the time to start is now. Take action by formulating a plan to get her back.
Begin a self improvement program. This program should deal with both internal and external improvements. Take off those extra pounds, put some effort into coordinating your wardrobe, and do whatever else that needs improvement. Think over the personal shortcomings that caused the breakup and resolve what to do about them. These improvements will make you feel better about yourself which improves your outlook.
Get out and have fun. The idea of fun that isn’t centered about your ex may be difficult to grasp at first but there must have been a time in your life when your ex wasn’t a part of it. This is a time to be with old friends and making new ones. Meeting and getting the interest of other women will boost your self confidence and help you to get over the pain of the breakup. Living life again will give you a more balanced perspective on what you want to get out of it.
The difference between success and failure will almost always hinge on your attitude. This is true in every endeavor that you pursue in life be it sports, career, or your love life. Pessimism will drain the life force out of you and hold you back. A positive attitude motivates and builds up the energy and confidence that you need to get your ex back.
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