7 Funny Wedding One-Liners
April 6, 2008 – 12:13 pmWhen did people start giving wedding toasts? Any idea? It wasn’t until recently. That surprises many people. In spite of the recency of the tradition, the tradition seems to have taken hold. And now many people within the wedding party are expected to give toasts. Toasts can be solemn or funny. And they’re a great chance to wish the couple well.
Do you have to give a wedding toast? Are you nervous? You should be. This is the couple’s big day, and you could ruin it! OK, it probably won’t be that bad. But It makes sense for you to be nervous. Ultimately you should find a good guide to teach you how to create a wedding toast, but for now, here’s some comic relief to take the edge off your nerves.
If you want to give a 4 minute toast, you’ll want to find some resources to help you. But here are some thoughts to get you thinking in the matrimonial direction.
1. He who hesitates is lost. But in marriage, he who hesitates saves himself.
2. Marriage is like eating at a restauant. You order one thing, then you see what someone else has, and you wish you’d ordered that.
3. I haven’t spoken to my wife for 2 days — she doesn’t like me to interrupt her.
4. If a man says something in the forest, and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?
5. If you see a man open the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car . . . or a new wife.
6. Women. They try to change you for years, and then they complain that you’re not the man they married.
7. “If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.” -Katharine Hepburn
Use these alone, or weave them into a longer toast. Or don’t use them at all. Just use them to get yourself thinking along the right lines. You’ll do great!
Tags: Wedding
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